Past Traumas
by mattiesaurus
Summary: I keep writing fanfiction instead of my final paper oops. and omfg angst is a genre now. perf. ANYWHO. Story about Law trying to over come the traumatic experiences he had while living with DoFla so he can make Kid happy
1. Chapter 1

"Eustass-ya, stop, please." Law made a weak effort to push the younger man off himself. His heart was racing painfully and his whole body was trembling visibly. His eyes were squeezed shut as he tried to prevent himself from crying.

Kid smirked and pressed his fingers a little deeper into the Heart Pirate's captain as a response. "What's wrong? Can't take it?"

Law's throat constricted and he could hardly get enough breath to speak. "I'm serious, please. I can't breathe, just give me a few minutes."

He pushed at the larger man again. This time Kid relented and sat up, sliding his fingers out of Law's ass. Law nearly fell off the bed as he tried to detangle his legs from his half removed boxers and stand at the same time. He kicked them off, sending them flying across the room before staggering into the bathroom. The door slammed as he threw it shut and he barely managed to catch himself as he fell to his knees in front of the toilet and vomited.

Law let himself fall to the side and just lay on the cold tile, half curled in the fetal position, for a while until his heart rate had calmed a little but. The surgeon took stock of his symptoms, he didn't have to, he already knew what was wrong with him. He just didn't want to admit it. He covered his face with his hands. He couldn't even have sex with someone he genuinely wanted to have sex with without flashing back and panicking. Just thinking about it made his throat tighten again and he couldn't quite hold back a sob.

Eventually Law pushed himself back into a sitting position and staggered back to his feet. His body was still shaking so much it was hard to stand, but at least he wasn't afraid his heart would stop anymore. He splashed some cold water on his face, but it was still pretty obvious he had been crying.

"Fuck." He would just have to hope Kid was too oblivious to that sort of thing to notice. He splashed a little more water onto his face and turned the sink off.

He had to lean against the wall a little to keep himself steady as he made his way back over to the bed. He collapsed onto it, facing away from Kid, his body went limp and he didn't fight it.

"What the hell took you so long?" Kid rested his hand on Law's hip and started stroking it, "Is your Highness ready _now?_"

"I'm sorry." Law didn't look at Kid, he didn't even move, "I'm not in the mood for sex anymore."

"What the hell!" Kid's hand suddenly tightened on Law's hip, nails digging into the skin. "I eat my pride for your pleasure all the time. I finally get you to agree to let me top and that's all I get? And I barely even start fingering you before you can't take it, I thought you said you wanted to do this."

"I'm sorry," Law mumbled, "I'll do better next time."

Kid frowned, grabbing Law's chin and turning his head so they were making eye contact, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Even though his tone was harsh and insulting, there was a spark of real concern in his voice as well.

"… I don't want to talk about it."

Kid sighed and let Law's chin go, he'd learned a long time before that it was impossible to make Law do anything he didn't want to.

"I still want to make you happy." Law's head had fallen back to the side and he just stared at the wall as he spoke, "I'm sorry, if I can just sleep for a while. We… We can try again later, I promise."

Kid didn't say anything, just made a slightly irritated noise but he wrapped his arms around Law and pulled him close. Law felt his heart drop for a second at the sudden restriction. He pressed his face against Kid's arm, breathing in the scent of mechanics oil and sweat that lingered on the man's skin. He let himself be absorbed in Kid's distinct smell until the arms around him were Kid's again and no longer felt threatening. Despite the other captain's reputation for violence, Law knew him better, and he felt safe with the larger man holding him so protectively and he let his eyes close. It didn't take long for him to drift off.


	2. Chapter 2

Kid had rolled over to the other side of the bed, dragging all the blankets with him. Law groaned irritability, pressing the pillow over his head for a moment before sitting up. He didn't know how much longer Kid would sleep, but he knew when he woke up he'd expect Law to keep his promise. He was beginning to regret making it. Part of him did want to let Kid have equal partnership in the relationship but… Even just thinking about the feeling of being touched made his stomach flip and a shudder run down his spine. He sighed and sat up, rubbing his face tiredly. His cheeks were starting to feel a little rough. He glanced over at the redhead sleeping next to him, for being such a feared pirate he slept like a little kid. Kid looked like he'd be out for a while longer. He stood up and wandered towards the shower, bending down to pick up his pants on the way.

He turned the water on hot until it was the next best thing from scalding before stepping in. Law l liked the feeling the scalding water gave him, like his skin was being burned away. Every _touch_ anyone had ever placed on him melting away. It only took a few minutes for his skin to start turning a bright shade of pink from the heat.

Law stayed in the shower until he was damp from sweat almost as much as the water from the shower its self and the air was more steam the air and he felt like he was drowning. He turned the water all the way cold for about a minute before shutting the water off completely. He started a little as he opened the shower door and Kid was standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

"I thought you were going to stay in there all day just to avoid me."

"I wasn't trying to avoid you."

"Really? Then what's your excuse for using up all my hot water?"

"I just started thinking and didn't realize how long it had been, that's all." Law reached for his pants, but Kid grabbed them first, "I kind of need those…"

"No you don't. You have a promise to keep to me."

Law tensed a little and tried to tug the pants out of Kid's hand, "Why can't it wait…"

"It can't wait because I'm horny _now._"

Law glanced down at Kid's crotch. The blanket he had hastily wrapped around his waist was doing nothing to hide the man's erection. Law blushed and wondered how long he had been watching him shower. He reluctantly let go of his pants and his hand dropped to his side. If he kept trying to put it off forever Kid would get suspicious, and he knew the fact that he'd just showered wouldn't change anything. That excuse didn't even work when he was the one fucking Kid. Law sighed softly, pushing his way past Kid and collapsing face first down onto the bed, defeated in the argument.

Kid smirked and crawled on top of Law, kissing his jaw and ear, "I take it that means 'yes?'"

Law's expression broke into a slight smile as Kid nuzzled against him, "Yes…"

Kid either didn't hear or disregarded the reluctance in Law's voice. He slid one hand around Law's waist, and slid it down Law's abdomen to start teasing him along his shaft. Which Law had to admit, felt excellent and his own body started to react. A jolt went through him as his partner started fingering him and his hand shot up to check the hair of the person on top of him. Long, not Doflamingo, he relaxed a little.

The lotion reduced the friction to a smooth glide, but Law still flinched and tightened his grip on the other man's hair when he pushed his fingers inside Law's ass. His flinch wasn't from any physical discomfort though. Law's hand slammed down on the bed and he sucked in a sharp gasp as another finger was pushed inside him. He wanted to make the other man stop again, but he bit the sheets to keep himself from saying anything. It didn't stop him from tearing up.

Law felt dizzy, his heart rate was starting to spike again and he was losing the ability to separate reality from memory. He bit down on the sheets, pressing his face against the mattress to hide his tears as he tried desperately not to show any weakness. Law was starting to feel like he was going to be sick when the fingers slid out of his ass. He had just started to catch his breath when a hand pressed against the back of his head, pushing it deeper into the mattress.

Law's heart rate jumped again as the other man's cock started pressing into him. Law's fist tightened as the man's entire length was suddenly shoved into the man's smaller body, biting harder on the sheets didn't help muffle the scream any. Law was suffocating from the heat of his own breath and his heart was racing so fast it hurt. The man on top of him pulled back to thrust into him.

"S-stop…" Law felt his stomach drop as he was pushed into again and he pushed himself up with his arms gasping for air and sobbing. "Stop, please!" His arms didn't hold and he fell back down onto the bed.

Kid pulled out and Law curled up into a tight fetal position, he was trembling and his body shook violently as he kept sobbing.

Kid touched his shoulder gently, "Law?"

Law just curled up tighter, tears streaming down his face. He was shaking his head a little, still begging even though Kid had already stopped. Kid pulled Law up into a sitting position and held him against his chest, wrapping a blanket around Law's shoulders.

"I'm sorry." Law just let the other captain manipulate his body like a dol. His body still trembling too much for him to move and he just leaned on the redhead's chest, letting him support his weight. "I ruined the mood."

"Yeah, no kidding." He wasn't even hard anymore, "What's wrong with you anyways?"

Law's throat constricted and he swallowed, trying not to start crying again, "I don't want to talk about it." His voice cracked a little when he spoke.

"You know most relationships involve more then just one person fucking the other." Law tensed a little again and Kid sighed, resting a hand on Law's hair. "Don't be like that. I'm just saying I want you to talk to me if something's wrong."

"I'm sorry… Maybe some other time."

"Fine, but I'm not going to let this go. Because if you're not going to let me fuck you, I demand to at least know why."

Law had to smile a little. Kid really did suck at showing how much he cared.


End file.
